For the past 6 months or so I've been very consumed with who I am and where I am heading. As a middle aged women (mid 40's), wife and mother I am happy with my life. I truly am. BUT ...... I'm bored. That's hard to say really though .... how can I be bored as a mother to a teenager and a tween. Life is always busy, the house always needs to be cleaned and I'm always running here or there for one thing or another. Maybe bored is the wrong word .... hmmmm ...... I'm not sure what word to use. Maybe one word isn't enough. Maybe I'm just needing a little more for ME.
I don't want to make the wrong impression here. I'm not unhappy with my life. In fact, I'm rather blessed and aware of it. I wouldn't change a thing, at this point, (although a few years ago things weren't so great) I love being a mom and wife. I love my faith and my activities that I participate in with my life. But I think that it's just not ENOUGH anymore. So although I love what I have .... I am needing more.
More for ME. More things that interest me, something to learn, something to do, something to share. I have had such a deep desire to write for many years, but I don't consider myself a writer. I don't write well. My thoughts are all over the place, my grammar is horrible and to be honest I have no idea if anyone even really cares what I have to say.
I found this amazing gal on line. She is a writer and she teaches people how to tell their story. You always hear that right ..... Everyone has a story to tell. Yea, well I'm sure I have a story to tell as well, but that doesn't mean that anyone really wants to hear it .... right?! Although she swears that out there somewhere there is at least ONE person that will benefit from hearing your story. I'm not even so sure that I am writing for anyone else other then myself. Although if I can bless even one other by my story then I am happy for that.
I've made mistakes, I've done stupid things that I regret. Things that I am still feeling the negative effects from, but also these things needed to happen in order for my marriage and person to become better and stronger from. Much was learned from these things and I count that as a blessing.
So when I write here I want to write openly. I want to just say what's on my mind for myself and for who ever happens to stumble upon this and needs to hear what I had to say that day.
Another issue with having a blog that is separate from real life is that I can't be totally open about who I am in the way of names, locations and photos, but to me .... I also couldn't imagine writing without leaving some of my real self behind. So I am going to try and insert bits and peaces of "me" here in a subtle sort of way so that it's not to dry and impersonal here.
So with that said, what is the goal here? Well, I guess the goal is to just begin. Begin doing, saying and creating a better version of me. Begin learning what I need to learn to make my life more fulfilling. To begin finding what those things even happen to be really. The writing will come as I discover along this journey. I have a short list of things that I like and deep thoughts on many a personal things going on in my life that I will share here. What are some of these beginning things ...
~ Writing - I so desire to inspire others
~ Photography - I have an awesome camera, it's a shame not to use it well and to take amazing memories of my children. I want to learn to take beautiful pictures that I can share, even here.
~ Living Naturally - Brings me peace and I need to do this more.
~ Inner Serenity - I need this to stay sane and I need to work on making this more evident in my life and who I am.
~ Living & Being Gentle - Goes hand in hand with Inner Serenity for me
~ Helping another along the way (my husband, my children, my friends, a stranger).
So join me if you will at the beginning of this journey I'm on to find out where I need to be and as I share much of the journey that I have already been on and why THAT makes me need THIS all the more.
